Oh goodness... im sure all of you pervs out there know what a rimjob is. That is one of my favourite lines from South Park: The Movie though. Personally i dont really think ass would taste all that great, but to each his or her own i suppose.
And now, for your spanking pleasure, I bring you Tushy Lickers... guess what these girls do? :)
Go get em, tiger.
Dont ask me why we call it boxing day up here in the great white north. Dont care really.
Anyways, do yourself a favour... click here for the finest asses on the planet, spend $5 bucks, and check out why teen poopers are considered to be the best on the planet.
Of course, if you're in need of 'free' stuff for the moment (ie. you're to poor after xmas to spend $5 on your whacking off), click here and spend NOTHING to get some great quality non-bleached asshole action going.
And as something to consider, if Michael Jackson was black, and now he's white, what colour would his asshole be? (Did they have asshole bleaching when he got fucked up? And even so is the guy actually crazy enough to claim that he needs his shitter to be sparkling white?) Im guessing he's got a big brown asshole on that white-assed skin.... it will provide a suitable target for the big boys of all sizes when and if he hits prison.
Seeing as how today is December 23rd, I want to wish you all a happy festivus.
And now for the airing of the grievances.
1. I have not been laid in 2 weeks
2. I have not got anywhere near an ass in 4 months.
3. My "regular" girlfriend doesnt like anal.
4. You guys keep sending me emails requesting Gonzo to post, and the silly bastard hasnt taken the time away from stroking the meatpipe in order to give you guys all the ass-satisfaction you've been looking for.
Gather yonder round the festivus pole as we celebrate that which is ass.
This girl is named Madison, or more precisely, this ass is attached to a girl named Madison.
Now, Madison is a skinny white broad as evidenced by her very thin and bony frame. Fortunately, we get to stare directly at her rosebud asshole and pussy lips in this picture. And, you will note, HOLY FUCK there's actually pubic hair on that snatch! What is porn coming to, if hair is allowed once again to grow on the pussy lips... i mean obviously those 70's porn-style bushes are still liked by a small group of you pervs, but for the most part girls today are bald, or at max have a small racing stripe above their vag.
Anyways, on to the ass review, which is really the only reason you're here.. let not kid ourselves.. my writing is super and all, but you want something to beat off to eventually ;) (Note that i added a nice black booty banner at the top of the main page -- its free give it a shot -- as i got some email from guys looking for big black asses).
This ass is really really smooth, slightly bony though due to the fact that she's a twig though. NICE fucking pussy lips though... doesnt look like a big slice of bologna, but its still there. This girl needs about 15 lbs... about 2 lbs of which should locate on her bum.
The rating today? I'd hit it! 6/10.
gonzo: goddamit.. th hotmail account i use for pron i havent used in over a month and ms froze it.. have to reactivate.. sec
tdj: jesus christ gonzo... if you keep that up your naturally lubricating cock-sores will heal
tdj: fuck im putting that quote on the website, thats a winner!
And so it was.
So, i was reading an article the other day about a group of guys in Cleveland who hold contests to go out and bag fatties. Biggest panties (or windsails as they're known) at the end of the week wins.
Now, I've never porked a porker, but i understand they're just like normal girls in bed... well.. other than the whole problem with finding a fold to fuck. It's got to be a lot like trying to screw your pillow when you were 14... soft and cushy.
I would never post anything but prime grade-A beef... that isnt what this site is about.... gelatinous cellulite bungholes... but if you want to comment with a fatty story (or joke), go right ahead.
Gonzo is browsing his hard disk for top quality hineys for all your cocksmacking pleasures.
Bookmark AssBlog, and come on back, ya hear?
Welcome welcome everyone!
By now you know the story... this is RATE THAT ASS!!! The gameshow where we totally tear apart an ass... aesthetically... then through sheer masturbatory fantasy :P
Lets take a look at Today's Ass
And the judges ruling:
Baby got back! Roly poly ass shot, #2 especially. First one looks like she needs an Asshole Bleaching. Oh well. Anyways, the rear end on this girl in pic #2 is just short of J-Lo territory. It's not bad at all. 7/10
Want more of this quality of ass? Visit a site where i jerk it often, Raunchy Teen Sluts. It's DAMN HOT!
Comment, bitches!
Amateur Ass Shots are a new concept round here, thought up by Gonzo while he drunkenly contemplated whether to have sex with leftula or rightchel a few evenings ago.
Anyways, you'll notice that this particular girl's ass isnt particularly stunning, and it appears that she has her pants on sideways... but gonzo says that's the style in montreal. Thats right everyone... say it with me... THE FRENCH ARE FUCKED UP.
What good would a fine ass be without your little swollen member inside of it once in a while? That is not to say that throwing a little cock in the ass is by any means easy to talk a 'real-life' girl into though.
I've accomplished this feat of 'smooth talkin' once or twice now... and trust me... its a lot of work. Here are some details of what I commonly use to talk a sweet girl into the nasty:
Line: Dont worry, i'll be gentle.
Reality: If i wasnt gentle, you'd experience the pain of a thousand daggers in your poop chute. I'm a nice guy tho... really... honestly.
Line: I'll never tell anyone about it.
Reality: I'm telling all you sicko perverts about my ass adventures... you dont think i'd tell my friends if i poked a 'real-live-girl' in the butt? Hehe. No names tho!
Line: Pain and pleasure go together well.
Reality: I guess this is true. One girl i poked in the butt actually really got off on it... the others just suffered the pounding until it was over... and never let me do it again. Oh well... 1 aint bad.
Line: I've never tried this before.
Reality: Lie. Fat fucking lie.
Line: Whem women have kids, they HAVE to let their husband pack their shit in, since their vagina is so loose.
Reality: From talking to the married dudes i know, once you get married, you dont even get blowjobs much less get to pack your wife's fudge.
Dont think i'm a jerk... it just happens that I believe that all girls should TRY anal... a lot wont... but some will... and i respect them for that. NEVER blow a load in the ass... thats not cool... do something tasteful like blow it on her cheeks then offer to wipe it up.
After all, we're gentlemen here right? :)
Here begins a new tradition at The Ass Blog, Rate That Ass.
I will throw out my thoughts on the ass(es) in question, then you're invited to chip in with your thoughts.
The booty on the left shows a serious amount of beef around the pussy, a distinct lack of curve to the bum, and is fairly pointy. This is not TDJ material (though i'd never actually turn down sex with a real girl of course). 4/10.
The hiney on the right has nice pussy lips showing with a good curve to the butt. I would prefer more meat on the bone however, and this ass loses for the 'baby don't got back' factor. 5/10.
What do you fuckers think? Comment below.
How dare you come to a site so clearly defined as being basically one man's own pornographic vision of the world and ask why? I believe the appropriate response is "eat my ass". Its my fucking site and if i want to blog about ass and assfucking and assholes, its my place to do so.
On the other hand, if you want to come back to see some high quality ass shots, hear me complain about how hard it is to get some ass, or generally shit around the block, bookmark this mofo.
I'll be having some guest writers on the weblog, including Gonzo... a man who has gone TOTALLY WITHOUT GETTING ANY ASS for literally years now. He'll share his woeful stories and a few pictures that he enjoys spanking to in order to gum up the keys on his laptop.